Jason D. Barr

If you’re not sure what’s going on here, please read this first.

Who am I?

I’m an introvert. Both in the sense that most people understand it, as well as the “correct” definition. Most folks think that introverts are people who are not comfortable in social situations, speaking in front of crowds, etc. That captures me to a certain extent, although I do feel like I’ve trained myself to fake it pretty well. Social situations (such as a party or anywhere else where I’m in a group of mostly unknown folks) aren’t my favorite. I can small talk people, (and do it fairly well, I think) but it always seems kind of forced to me. It’s on par with mowing the lawn or something; I do it, but it’s not something I want to be doing, so it seems to go pretty slowly and I’m always looking for my exit. As an aside, I’ve hit on my strategy before when I’m talking with new folks here.

However, I’ve read a couple of books on psychology and personality that define extroverts and introverts in a way that I really like. It’s not so much whether you feel comfortable in social situations, or have anxiety about them, or even enjoy them. An extrovert is someone who’s batteries are charged, so to speak, by being in a social situation, while an introvert is someone who feels refreshed after spending time alone (reading, or playing video games, or sitting in a dark room or whatever). The next time you’re in a social situation, notice how you feel after it’s over. Are you refreshed, and looking for the after-party? Or, do you need to go home and mellow out for awhile before you can relax? That reaction will tell you what you truly are. I’m definitely one of the people who is exhausted by being around other people. Not that I dislike being around people, it’s just physically draining to me. It’s not what I would choose to do if someone asked me what I want to do to relax.

I believe this temperament has contributed to my development as a curious and well-rounded person. If I hadn’t spent so much time reading instead of going to parties, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That’s not to say that introverts are better off than extroverts, or to stereotype one group over another. It’s just that for me personally, I know that it’s contributed to my intellectual development. On the flip side, I’ve also had to work hard to become more of a people person. I’m certainly not one (a people person, that is), but I think I’ve gotten better than I was when, say, I was in high school.